Take Me Away

Well, I've been home and I haven't been out with friends and stuff. I don't feel like I'm enjoying my life so much.
Trying to get through everyday. It's hard.
I wanna live my life hard! I like to party alot.
Maybe I shouldn't do that so much.
Last time I did that I nearly died.
I drank too much Whiskey and I ended up at the hospital.
I thank God I'm alive after all. I honestly couldn't feel a thing. I was dead for a while.
I always drink too much. So now when I wanna go out and partying with friends my family/mum/sister is worrying about me.
Do they think I'll die?
Hello? I can actually take control of myself NOW.
But they've lost all their trust in me.
And that really hurts. But at the same time I understand them.
Right now I feel like I'm stuck in this town. I gotta getaway somewhere else.
Sure, I love some of my friends I have here. I really don't have many friends. I'm a shy kinda girl. I find it hard to trust and open myself to people.
That was all I had to say today. XOXO